Someone give this guy a hand

A buddy of mine updated his Facebook saying he had broken his hand. Ouch, there goes his sex life.

Manual zing!

Divorce. ROFL!

You know why divorce costs so much?
Because it's worth it!

Oh snap, who gets to keep the zings?

Alimony? How about just some of my money!

So I was on the phone with my pops yesterday and asked him much it costs to get married.
He said, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

Still zinging after all these years.

LA Confidential

(Jonathan Barker, Two unknown women)

Check out this pic that LOTZ's(lord of the zings) grabbed outside of the popular Los Angeles club "Sting". I don't think Mrs. Barker is gonna be to happy after seeing this steamy photo! Oh Zing!

Zings caught on tape!

Lord of the Zings caught some zings in action at a party in Portland, OR. Please note that these people are professional zingers. Lord of the Zings recommends consulting your physician before trying these zings at home.

Exhibit 1: The Shapoopie Zing

Exhibit 2: The Reverse Moonwalk Zing

New York Times Best Seller*

I recently had a book published called "Me, Me, Me: Memoirs of a Mangy Lover."

It's about me.

Self inflicted zing!


*Not a New York Times Best Seller

Decisions

Q: What do you want for lunch?
A: Something warm and saucy.

That's what she said. Za-zing!